Society of People Who Are Definitely Going to Fail School (And Most Probably Life as Well!) I

Dear Ms Wonderbra,

It is with great pleasure that we invite you to join our Society.

We have just found out about your study plan. It’s so impressive! You’ve had months to revise for your English exam on Friday and from what we’ve heard not only have you not done any revision but you’ve practically forgotten what The Great Gatsby is even about!

Fabulous!

Not only that but we’ve also been informed that you’re not even going to be in the country for two of your three exams. Instead you’re going to be off in France with your friends killing your braincells with a mixture of hard liqueur and loud music! Wow, your commitment to this Society really is inspiring.

Oh what’s that? You've skipped all of your classes today so as you could study? And you haven't even so much as opened a book? Your first (and only) exam is in four days? You say you're going to study tomorrow? And you think it's going to make a difference!!!

That’s really very amusing, Alice. We like you for it. You’re perfect for our Society and we’re very excited about having you join.

Yours sincerely,
The Manager
Society of People Who Are Definitely Going to Fail School (And Most Probably Life as Well!)